my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Randomize