I'm gonna have a badass scar
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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