Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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