I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you win again, gameday.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
