my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Congratulations! We have a period
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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