you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
