Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
