hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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