Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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