It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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