So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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