I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
