he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
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I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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