So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
