Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
