You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
