If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
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fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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