don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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