we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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