I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
