The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
