I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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