idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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