I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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