So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
you never un-have a 4some
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i out mim tonsoeep
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