1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
