So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
