When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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