did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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