My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
