you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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