my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
did i walk over a car last night?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
