too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
