I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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