omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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