vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
