what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
