You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
