we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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