"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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