i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize