yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
dude i'm inner monologue high
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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