We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
