I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
