Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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