I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
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