remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
