do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I checked into jail on foursquare
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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