Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
