WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
