i think my tv is drunk
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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