I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
