3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
