Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
