Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You made out with two different species that night
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
