Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
