Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize