how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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