they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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